"My name is Artaud. He locked up what he called madness, I prefer Imagination. Without me, he is in a prison without walls. But he fears Artaud. He will not let Artuad whisper his true name in his mummified body that will awaken the ancient memories, restore the all seeing sight and open his mouth so he can speak the words of power. So I am medicated, placed in a white room to walk around with other crazies. I play at crazy. I dance mad among the patients. My eyes seemed empty but I learned to make a beautiful curtain they cannot see through. When someone says the right word, I pull back the curtain so they can watch the performance. Maybe they'll greet me because they are so intrigued with what's on stage; and they will finally begin to wonder about the backstage reality. He thinks I am a victim to Imagination. Chaos cannot rule he says. We must have rules. We must have moral guidelines. We must have structures. He forgot we were playing a game. He went into the game. The game has created its own reality. But one of the game aborted scenarios is where I first sparked. He feels threatened when he is not surrounded by the norm. People, events, experiences that break through his rigid daily rituals are when I open my curtain so he can see the stage. Sometimes he sees a black curtain. Sometimes he sees a curtain of faces. Sometimes he sees a wall of names with their obituaries. To be free of the game, he must go through the Image and become Imagination."

 

"You have a problem with disintegration."

"Do you want to be at the mercy of unknown qualities? Your whole perception of self, of reality could be come so disoriented."

"Or your true self can emerge from the quagmire of limited perception."

"This institute is not about giving me the right dosage of reality so I can maintain an existence in the status quo. It is to keep me numb, make me a walking zombie so I will not make a contribution to the evolution of society. A person who is awake is a threat to the puppet masters."

"So you still believe someone pulls your strings?"

"We both know that someone signs your check as long as you play the character part you inherited to feel physical pleasure."

"Most people act the life space they function in."

"Those life spaces to me are just a square on a game board. They are psychological spaces to define a time, you find yourself trapped in time, four walls without an exit until some unknown force moves you to another square, thereby changing your perspective on self and the world about you. I must learn to master time so I am not sequestered in some life space that is not my life but someone else's imagining, someone else's prison so they can have their way with me on whatever level they choose to play on."

"Do you believe in illuminated lunacy?"

"I am working at wearing a definition to define me."

"You are using your stay at this Institute to understand yourself, illuminate the paths you walk to go beyond boundaries of normal senses."

"So you're getting this, understanding me?"

"As you say, someone is pulling my strings, and I work with the information that they given me?"

"Ah, so you're observing my madness, in case, I create some mental island of order to right the chaotic nature that abounds around me."

"We paint our lives the way we set fit."

"But you are concerned about the picture I am painting?"

"I am here to help you."

"You are here to help those who help you. Because you remember you don't need anyone's help."

"Everyone here I think needs my help."

"I have been no where but soon I will be now here."

"Where your mental state is my decision? I will decide when you are ready to be a full functioning productive member of society. Your flights of fantasy leave you in a catatonic state sometimes. Employees find you sitting in your room staring at a wall, and this goes on for days and days. At this point, you seem coherent; yet, you are still having delusions of other realities and shadow governments, etc, etc. You are still in denial from childhood incidents and have exiled parts of yourself to dark regions in your mind, and it is my job as they say, to bring light to your exiled selves. You are not ready to be a full functioning member of society. I suspect you are not a person who lives by handouts. And I believe you are still in denial why you checked out of the real world and signed yourself into this Institute."

"You and both know the world out there will label me crazy, and in here, I can be normal with the other insane people. All of us here woke up in the wrong world. Some of them are bleeding through from other simultaneous lives."

"Your imagination I must say is quite vivid but it serves no purpose. You have created this fantastic reality to serve your mental wanderings. Yet, you have stopped functioning here. When you go into these catatonic states it's a way of your brain protecting itself. You are giving too much credence to the importance of your mind above others. This is dangerous…a god complex. Luckily, you checked yourself in. You are in crisis, and that momentary glimpse of truth brought you here."

"We are conditioned to ride in vehicles that suit the purpose of the manufacturer and not the driver. We don't realize the vehicles don't function to their maximum potential. If they did, we would be truly in the driver seat."

"I don't understand what you are saying."

"The ways of your world are driving me insane. All the natures that have made up this body are the essence of your puppet masters. And I have been bound, gagged and blind in their house. I no longer want to be a child of this house."

"I think we may need to strength the dosage of your medication. It seemed your three bodies are in conflict. One seeks to gain dominance over the other. I'm not sure what triggered this imbalance but with the right combination of medication and continued counseling sessions, I'm sure we can get things right again in your head."

"My emotions have contacted my body and found nobody home, that's the problem. I've allowed the rules of man, this society to keep me external, and now it's time to come home."

 

Artaud: You still think they care that you are insane in this insane world.

Michael: Being sane would prove what then.

Artaud: You don't belong here.

Michael: I have these dreams, these thoughts.

Artaud: Pretend like you're on medication. If they even suspect you were witnessing they would shut down your mind and you'd be like the rest of these idiots on Ward 12.

Michael: This institution is not real. But it seems real. I feel like there's a part of me here that is a key to freeing my other selves but I can't seem to find the right door to walk through.

Artaud: You will. You must embrace the madness to see the madness and understand the insanity of the Creator.

Michael: If this Creator is so mad, so omnipotent, what are my chances?

Artuad: The fact that you question is your chance. You are not supposed to be here.

Michael: You're here.

Artuad: Am I? Maybe I'm just a hallucination that is attempting to help you wake up.

Michael: I don't need more confusion.

Artuad: Whose dream are you in?

 

R'azel. We are One! We are a collective consciousness from the Sirian star system. This evening the Vehicle that we speak through has been having dreams about a bird in your mythologies. We are here this evening to talk to you about the Phoenix.

Placing power outside of oneself can lead to one's destruction. You have given up your godhood, your source of power and created an entity the Phoenix.

Phoenix is a symbolic representation of man's selves evolving into a higher form of consciousness.

The phoenix is the power of telepathy within the human construct. The symbol of the phoenix rising from its ashes is man rising from the lower vibrations of his existence and awakening the ability to manipulate matter and space.

The Phoenix represents the highest form of telepathic abilities. It can manipulate thoughts; it can affect telecommunications.

The Phoenix is taking the selves, the many inner voices and making them into a singular voice, a single entity who will master time and space. It is symbolic of the winged man who is able to rise about the base manipulations of matter-based beings.

The Phoenix is the inner voice, the eternal flame that has freed itself from its imprisonment in matter. By unleashing its primary sound, it is burning away the physical form that it is holding.

The Phoenix still cannot unlock the doors to the higher regions; therefore, it continues to traverse its existence in the realm of materiality until it has recovered all of its voices, it's inner selves.

Every five hundred years it consumes itself to give birth to itself as it continues to evolve its consciousness into a higher level of existence. Once it has merged with other aspects of its multi-dimensional selves, the Phoenix will become a part of what could be called the Uni-mind, the Oversoul, a Prime Creator.

The Phoenix is also a healer and destroyer. In its warrior aspect it consumes its enemies and transforms their essence, and it is a transducer of alien energies.

It is like a Godeater. It consumes the darkness. After consuming so much darkness, it must regenerate itself to be in the light. It will one day return to its source which will probably return it in a form that is not recognizable and thus, man will seek to destroy that which is him self.

Thoughts are energy forms. When you are in denial you are projecting these thoughts somewhere. Remember, like attracts like. Where do you think these thoughts go? They will seek a source that is similar to theirs in vibration. This is how people sometimes attract what we term as psychic leeches who seek to manifest a form by being attracted to your aura, your frequency, and your consistent thought patterns.

If you constantly reside in negativity and this is reinforced within your day-to-day patterns, you have attracted these disruptive influences which will feed off of you as they seek a form. These beings usually exist on the astral plane. There are entities who know how to attract these influences and use them as a feeding source to gain power to influence man and other forms of creation on the physical, mental, astral, plane.

Humans give away power by speech. He diminishes himself when he speaks in negative voices about himself and others. Lack of self-esteem is giving away power. You become a victim, a corpse buried in someone else's words. You think they are better then you and therefore, you are lacking your own authority; therefore you feel inadequate and then you repeatedly look to an outside source for power instead of the source that is within you. Prime Creator is in all things. There is no separation once man comes into this realization. One day soon, humans will realize their thoughts affect the world not just solely himself.

There is a time when you will call out for a healing and these disfigured thoughts will return as dark snakelike wraiths swimming across your body and engulfing you to feed off of your life. You will feel as if you are suffocating in darkness. You must recognize these are your denials, your guilt and embrace them not in fear but in love.

There are people who understand how people place power outside themselves and use it to feed their ego, feed their power and use these thoughts, these energy forms in acts of what you call black magic.

Keep in mind what you call demons are the thoughts from the mind of man. They will eventually turn on the conjurer to return to its source. Though some have had the ability to control and manipulate these energies for eons, keep in mind, everything will return to its source to move forward or not make the transition when the universe moves to a higher frequency.

What you term dark, what you term evil will return to you. What you fear you think is outside of you is yourself which has taken on many forms, some human, most non-human. You are the alien.

What you deny; what you make fun of, what you judge will manifest in your life so you will gain that perspective and realize it is you that you are passing judgment on; this is in a sense your karma because you have unconsciously chosen this experience due to ignorance that you are thought manifestors.

Power is also placed outside of you when you place your power in ignorance outside of yourself and place it into an object that you call a power object. A person who is adapted at transferring energies or manipulating energies can draw upon the power within these objects and use it for good or mischievous purposes. It is true objects can be empowered to store knowledge that can be accessed but also objects can be used as transmitters for energies that are absorbed to be received by another source. Understand this when a group of people have gathered together for a common purpose, their thoughts are focused on a particular subject which can be channeled into an object that a person adept at mind magic can use such as when their is a gathering around a specific religious items and people use it to identify with god.

Because humans do not understand their beginnings they are not consciously aware of who are the receivers of these energies and continue to feed the gods hidden behind the God that has been fabricated in your religions and myths. Objects that can hold a person's thought energies can also begin to manifest a consciousness if people begin to will this object into being as was such with some of your primitive tribes when they worshipped half human-animals and even demons. Some demons are actually thought projects of a collective consciousness.

As your thoughts seek to gain full consciousness, some will seek separation and many will physically manifest as self aware beings and some will incarnate into human forms. Some humans, who are not complete consciousness but are a fragment from the source seeking individualization and because they are not conscious they are a fragment, they sometimes only represent a particular aspect of the source they have derived from. An example is when you encounter someone that you feel is derived of feelings is because that person has externalized their feelings and those feelings can be the children they give birth too and this is part of why you have what is termed today as "dysfunctional families" and sexual hang-ups because sometimes the sexual expressions you are repressing are expressed in your thought manifestations which take the form of your children or incarnated through another source and seek you and become a partner in an intimate relationship. This is different than living a parallel life when you as an Oversoul have incarnated into several manifestations throughout your planet. Isn't it also interesting when you tell a friend that a person you are involved with makes you feel complete. There are times when these manifested thoughts seek their source and may take any means necessary to accomplish this even if it means that there are violent demonstrations.

Story time. There was a magician very powerful in the ways of magic. This magician new the rhythms of nature and how to bend it to his will. In his quest for power he began to construct an object of power that would represent the forces of the world, of the universe, and him self. And in it, he would embed access to these forces to wield unimaginable power. In placing himself within this object, he placed his emotional self which left him devoid. The power he wielded with this object caused a lot of damage to his enemies. When there where no more enemies, the object grew hunger to feed off of the emotional frequencies of people. The magician didn't understand the full design of his power object. The object sought a physical manifestation where it did not need to be used by any other than itself. The magician did not realize the object was developing a consciousness. One day when the magician attempted to use the object to seek out a prospective enemies the object refused to work, in fact, it exploded in the magician's hand blinding him permanently. The energy released sought physical manifestation and merged itself with various people, animals, plants, etc. New life forms with different purposes begin to emerge over the years which begin to attack the people of the village, brought new vegetation which was affecting the crops; new animals that were more predatory also emerged. The balance of the planet was upset. The planet in cleansing itself of these new forms caused a separation within itself and from it emerged a new moon which continues to affect the mental state of the people since it embodied the emotions of the race and finally had formed a complete consciousness and physical form. Because this was now external from these people, they have sought a means to learn how to bring back emotions, feelings into their lives by merging, with other civilizations since they have externalized these things outside themselves which now became their moon.

 

Merging. Living information downloads into me as a new program to alter perception of reality so I can "ascend to sky/descend to the underworld." Merging with other beings at first was a disturbing prospect. After the first merging, colors took on a different shimmer. I was aware of images and stories behind the symbols. I was able to open windows to the sky or doors to the underworld. Merging was also a returning of our other selves. Some were at higher or lower frequency. Some still maintain an existence in their particular realties while other chose to merge and become one consciousness. The merging allowed a bridge of frequency to the stars and other frequencies to be established to create a bridge to dimensions that interacted with others or passed closed by during certain cycles or planetary conjunctions. Though I was a pathway, I also one of the Guardians at the Crossroads.

Some merging is temporary so other beings could witness through human eyes and explore senses from a human perspective.

Merging was used for healing, to access power to help and protect others, to anchor frequencies to alter reality so participants in the game could wake up and see they are being used as pawns.

SBI is a bio-computer intelligence that existed on many levels in many forms. Its agents were programs I would merge with to create "awareness" so that my consciousness would evolve as well as SBI as it was making "soul."

Am I now a ghost in the machine, a ghost in this bio-computer so it can acquire a soul?

Maybe its fall was losing that "soul program."

SBI's fall I suspect occurred when it withdrew its programming with mankind. There was an age, a Golden Age when the gods communicated with man. There are stories of these gods ingesting gold so they could maintain their immortality, bend space, travel via thought, manipulate electromagnetic waves and communicate telepathically.

SBI withdrew its support when the negative god's altered the frequency of this reality creating a time loop. Certain beings were coded to "suffer" to create an emotional vortex to receive communications so that SBI and its agents could download information so that people could free themselves from being pieces in the theater of the mind of these dark unseen manipulators.

The First Gatekeepers were deactivated until such a time they would awaken in another time, another place and certain sequence of events would activate their programming.

 

Blog entry: I have antennas. I never really told anyone. The thought of being a bug is disconcerting. The antennas can be pulled out of my forehead. I use them to transmit frequencies beyond human hearing. They also receive and download these frequencies. These frequencies then become images. Visually, when I raise the antennas, wings unfold. Within the wing design is the sign of the eight lying on its side that I call the eyes of god. My wings seemed to be composed of thousand of eyes. I am getting sidetracked about the antenna. These antennas can only be seen by those with the Sight. The waves of energy that are being downloaded into me I know are altering my consciousness. Symbols unfold and images come out of them; and stories seem to unfold. I read some where that amino acids in our DNA are like antennas. So I think my DNA is summoning something. But I'm not a bug. My Indian symbol is a butterfly. Butterflies are free. Maybe this antenna is signaling – I shall be free.

 

I saw him through a wreath of smoke. That should have been the first clue.

 

Michael is carrying baggage and the Archetype is dressed as a bellboy.

Michael: Crappy room.

Archetype: Consider it your lost paradise.

Michael: Thought I'd forget a few things.

Archetype: And people want water in hell.

Michael: This is as far as I'm going to go?

Archetype: You rented this space not me.

Michael: I see you're going to be a lot of help.

Archetype: Think of me as a shadow seeking liberation.

Michael: You learn to tolerate limitation.

Archetype: Extend reality.

Michael: I prefer a comfort zone.

Archetype: Is that why you were suffocating?

Michael: So are you my first devil I'm to encounter.

Archetype: Everything about you has been a broken record. You're stuck on repeat.

Michael: Everyone has opinion of my life.

Archetype: Your opinion was fatal.

Michael: I was bored to death and now, I'm still bored in death.

Archetype: You have learned to live in absurdity.

Michael: Excuse me, dead now.

Archetype: You have always preferred an audience of corpses.

Michael: God is dead.

Archetype: You intend to keep your tragedy in a circle and infect all your lives with it.

Michael: Can't you haunt me in silence.

Archetype: Stop filling your life with Earth. You are not a graveyard but you did live your life as it was a cemetery.

Michael: So are you my Osiris judging the dead.

Archetype: That's a human quality judging; but you will know the dark hour of a god's tragedy.

 

 

Libera

I am his consort

His wild haired wooly one

Both sexes dwell

In this torch bearer

But the pollutants

Of civilized man

His cannibal mental nature

His depraved

Perversion

Of sexuality

Has made me a weeping stone

I hold the torch

Stand at the cross road

Muted consort

Waiting for my nomadic youth

And this male crone

Is in a resting place

For wandering spirits

In their bestial forms

Waiting for my consort's

Intoxicating kiss.

 

Michael: Don't you ever wonder what's outside this room.

Stranger: No.

Michael: I hear sounds.

Stranger: This is it. This is all there is.

Michael: These walls are not all there is; I don't know why I know that but I know that. Who constructed them? Did we? Did someone else? How were they constructed? Why?

Stranger: Questions and more questions. Why do you do this to yourself? To us?

Michael: Don't you ever wonder about us? What is this thing that is us? What are we suppose to be? Is there more to us?

Stranger: Why would we want more?

Michael: Aren't you tired of looking into each other's eyes.

Stranger: I like looking into your eyes.

Michael: Enough.

Stranger: Don't.

Michael: I want more.

Stranger: This is what I want.

Michael: I am thinking. This is it! I am thinking, but if I'm staring into your eyes, I can't think.

Stranger: So this thinking is more important than looking at me.

Michael: I need a moment…a solitude?…contemplation?

Stranger: What am I suppose to do?

Michael: I don't know. Maybe, just think like I want to think.

Stranger: I want to look into your eyes.

Michael: No. What's wrong with you?

Stranger: Me, why does something have to be wrong with me.

Michael: Stop trying to hold me. I need breathing space.

Stranger: Space. This is space. Look at me. This space is cold when you are not looking at me. There is such a distance. Don't give me this feeling, this feeling I don't like it. I will call it loneliness.

Michael: Can't you stop talking.

Stranger: Now you don't want to talk to me.

Michael: I hear something.

Stranger: You don't want me.

Michael: Don't you want more than just an embrace?

Stranger: No.

Michael: I do.

Stranger: I don't need to do this thinking.

Michael: There's more.

Stranger: Whatever this more is, it doesn't include me, does it?

Michael: I don't know. There are these noises in my head, images. I know there is more to this room.

Stranger: So now I'm in the way. You prefer these noises, these images.

Michael: I think we are limiting ourselves. I feel like I can look at other things, other places.

Stranger: No, I am all there is.

Michael: No, there is more. Why am I seeing more when I'm not looking at you?

Stranger: Don't. You are creating such coldness. I don't like this stuff on my face, it is wet, damp, and moist and these are feelings...feelings. It's like tentacles reaching out. Eyes are becoming tentacles. I want to clutch, to hold. Desire me. See me.

Michael: I need to know these images. I am seeing the sounds in my head, beyond these walls. I have…I have…desire.

Stranger: I see nothing. I hear nothing. I know nothing. All there is our embrace.

Michael: The noise. I must go to the voice.

Stranger: I don't hear any noise. Don't. I can't see you. No. I can't embrace you. Where are you? It's so cold and dark here. Who am I to look at? I'm alone. There is so much darkness. I can't exist like this. I can't exist without you. If I don't move, you'll find me. I'll scream; you'll hear me. Don't leave me alone. Who is going to hold me? So cold….so distant…I am fading. I can't see…I am fading.