CHAPTER 33

The Uthra closed its wings around itself as the dragon attempted to burn the Uthra with its flames.

"I will have you," said the Great Dark.

"I think not Dark One," said the Uthra as it unfolded its wings and rose above their current battlefield. Since the battle was taking place on an astral plane, Uthra had left the Earth reality as Michael and emerged in this realm as a Thing to battle the dragon.

Up to this point, they had been battling for several eons. Time was different here then on Earth. The Uthra would be able to ride the corridor of time to the correct portal and it would seem that he had only been gone for a matter of minutes if the battle was in its favor. As the battle continued, they each shape shifted into different forms yet, they could not find one that would defeat the other.

In one situation, they even projected themselves into what humans would call life, but the gods and goddess would call it the theater of the mind.

-- Excerpt from "The Underground Letters of a Heretic"

People in the Italian restaurant talked in loud whispers. They were in Little Italy in New York. The place was dimly lit. Though it had an air of romance there was a chill factor between the two of them. Months before, they had a romantic night here.

"I'm glad you finally picked up the telephone," Lazarus said. "I've called you several times. I started to get worry that's why I called Byron at work. He says you haven't been out of the house in two weeks. You're not looking for a job. And honestly, you don't look that great."

 

"Everything is fine. I'm just trying to figure out what is the next step, you know, what direction I should take with my life."

"So far it's not working. You look bad Michael. Your skin is pale. Your hair is long. And you have a scary look in your eyes. In fact, I feel uncomfortable even sitting here talking to you."

"Guess this should be a short meal then."

"Don't be like that."

"How am I supposed to be then?"

"I'm concerned."

"Why?"

"Look, I know this break up hasn't been easy for you. But you have had life experiences, I'm just getting started. I want to try out things; new places, new people."

"We had something."

"We did, not now."

"I still love you. I remember when you sang to me in that restaurant in Pasadena on a Saturday afternoon when it was just the two of us as customers. You sang that Prince song, "I Would Die 4 U."

"You sang to me from stage. It was no big deal."

"Yeah." Brief pause. "It was no big deal."

Lazarus continued. "Byron doesn't even want to live with you. He asked Rachel and me if he could stay with us until he found another living situation. He said you have been dancing, chanting and you keep telling him you're becoming some alien creature."

"That's not what I said."

"Well, you have a look in your eyes that is not normal."

What should he tell Lazarus? Truth doesn't set every body free. It drives most people mad, suicidal or they create religions to ignore the truth of what they have seen.

Michael remembered it was only several nights ago when he was lying in his bed, tossing and turning. Sleep refused to cuddle with him. It was 3:00am. He had a striped green, blue and red sheet pulled up to his chin. He was naked. Byron was asleep and snoring in the other room. It was good to know he wasn't alone even though their relationship was ‘platonic'. Byron had not understood as much as he could about the multi-dimensional strangeness that was happening to Michael. He always left the room shaking his head.

He had scared Byron when he came into the kitchen one night while he was preparing dinner and felt a chill and used his third eye to see what was approaching. Then he saw an enormous demon surrounded by fire approaching him. "I am the Adversary. I come to vanquish my old foe who has returned. You may call yourself Michael, but you are an Uthra. We have an ancient debt to settle. Even this form cannot hide your true countenance. This time is the end of the game. If I cannot defeat you now, I will take what is important for you. I will take Byron's soul, I will take Gerald soul. And then I will take yours!"

Byron walked in the kitchen carrying some groceries.

Michael yelled at him. "Get out of here. Get out if you want to live." He was holding a butcher knife at the time.

"What's going on," Byron cried out in fear.

"Go!"

Byron ran out of the kitchen. Within a few moments he heard the front door close.

 

Best he thinks I am crazy as he began the Uthra chant to summon his shield and sword to fight the Adversary. Needless to say, neither won the battle and it continues on many other levels. He couldn't tell Byron the truth and especially Lazarus. He realized to face this ancient enemy he would have to let go familial relationships, lovers; he would not let the Adversary have their soul or have them used against him. He would be alone, a wanderer. He would be seen but really not seen; because no one would see him for what he was; this had to be.

Lazarus interrupting Michael's flashback. "See you are lost in space again. I have to be very frank with you Michael. I don't like the direction you are taking. Every since I moved to New York, you've been under this illusion we are getting back together. We had sex. We had a good time. Don't make it more than it is. I like having sex with you; but I don't want it anymore. You're not a healthy person to be around. Every since you've been spending time with Marie, you're acting as weird as she does. I thought this spiritual stuff was fun but you have taken it to a whole new level of weirdness. It's not what I want in my life. I need normal. I want normal. I want to be able to talk to someone and know they are listening, and that they are on the same wavelength, that we are watching the same channel. But with you, I feel like you are every where and no where and only a part of you is listening."

Michael reached to pick up a glass of water and the glass shattered in his hand. Lazarus jumped. Michael wasn't surprised. Two busboys ran over to clean up the mess.

"Nothing normal happens around you," Lazarus mumbled under his breathe.

"I am in between."

"That's what I mean you don't make sense."

"Remember my first night in New York when I was renting a room and I called you in Washington, D.C. and we were talking and making jokes and making plans. I thought it was going to be us; not me, myself and I. And then when I told you about all the lights that came into my room, you didn't seem upset about that."

"I thought you were playing with me."

"One hundred and forty four thousand lights, geometric shapes, symbols passed into me. I wasn't joking. I didn't know what it meant at the time."

"I don't want to know Michael. Don't you get it? I don't want to know this mad world you and Marie are walking in; all I want to know is that you aren't in my world anymore. I don't want to see you anymore. Lose my number. Lose your mind. I don't care. I don't love you anymore. You were just a trick. I've never been with a black guy before. You were an experiment in living dangerously. Well, I am back on the other side of the track and there is no admission for you. You need to be where ever you need to be but not in my life. As far as I'm concern you will be dead to me. You will always be dead to me. If I think of you as being dead, it will be a better way to grieve."

Lazarus laid forty dollars on the table and left quickly while Michael sat there silently.